Lunchtime from start to finish.

ALL DONE!

A love letter to my son.

To my little Moo, on the occasion of your First Birthday,

I hope you won't hold it against me that the day I found out you were coming to join our family, I sat all day in a dumbfounded stupor...shell-shocked by the complete surprise with which your intended arrival was made known. I hope you won't resent the fact that I was more than a little scared about how another child would fit into our lives. Was there room in our home for another little person? More importantly, was there room in our hearts?

Because here's the thing Moo:

I can't even begin to imagine life without you... not for one second.

It's pretty hectic in our house, between your brother's goofy toddler antics, and your unwavering requests for attention. Attention I'm not always sure you get enough of and definitely not in the lavish way Malachi received it. Attention that is divided, lop-sidedly at best between you and your roommate based on who is creating the costliest damage at that moment.

And chaos and busyness aside, you and I have had our moments. We've had our fair share of fights and disagreements, which somehow I seem to have been on the losing end of way too often.

But what I'm trying to say here my Kashie Kashers, is that you are an absolute ray of sunshine in my day. (Even when you have also been the dark clouds of storm just a moment earlier.)

Your sweet soft head of luscious and often ridiculously coiffed curls is still irresistible to me. The way you lay your head on my shoulder and cuddle in melts my heart every time. You might not be quite the clown your older brother is, but your amazing little laugh is the purest expression of joy I have ever heard. You are not your brother, nor would I want you to be. You have moves all your own and your own brand of charm and um personality quirks. And we could not love everyone of them more if we tried.

While Malachi is always on the move, you are still so snuggly and even though sometimes I wish you had another favorite spot beyond my lap and arms, I know too soon you will be off and running and too busy for snuggling with your mom. I go to sleep every night wondering aka grumbling about why you refuse to sleep in your own bed, but wake up feeling so grateful that for now your Dad and I get to greet the day to the sleepy smiles of a little cherub between us.

And how fast has this year gone? I was warned that having babies so close together would cause the seconds to tick by faster. I was also warned that it wouldn't be that easy.... and it hasn't been. In fact it might have actually been the hardest year of my life. But you are the little joy that makes all of the unfinished chores unimportant and the lack of sleep seem worth it.

I'm so glad sometimes that God removes decisions from us, and has a plan that we couldn't even imagine. You are the happiest conclusion to a surprise beginning. You are an unimaginable gift. The kind we didn't even know we were missing.

Happy First Birthday to you my little sweet ONE year old.

Surprise! Look what I can do!

Today I discovered that Kashton knows two signs (baby sign language), which is quite remarkable because I really have not spent much time teaching him any. I half heartedly tried showing him "please" and "more" in hopes of lessening the high pitched shrieking he uses as a request for food, but it wasn't going well and I kind of gave up.

We taught Malachi only a couple, which he only uses occasionally now and always with the accompanying word, so it didn't seem possible that Kashton would pick it up from his big brother, but today I was totally surprised to see Kashton signing "more" and "all done" as I spoke the words aloud.

Way to go second son! I guess younger siblings must come with some kind of osmosis feature to ensure that they too learn the things their mothers are too busy to teach them.

Double Trouble

It is a known fact that with all potentially adorable things, (puppies, kittens, babies, brownies) any more than one miraculously ups the cuteness factor. Exponentially I'd say. (Yes brownies are cute. I mean after all, how many times have you said to some roly-poly baby, "you are so cute I could just eat you up?" Well that's what I have often said in the same loving tones to ooey-gooey brownies, seconds before making good on my promise... you can after all put a brownie in your mouth and chew.)

We have recently noticed that on their own, our children are just regular, ordinary, average little boys. But put them together, and they turn into something else, so delicious (see... just like the brownies), I can hardly stand it.

I imagine this is what having twins or multiples of any kind is like. We all know that previous to the Jon and Kate divorce drama, no one was watching that show for Kate's acerbic comments or Jon's makeover via hair plugs and new ear bling. It was all those darn children drawing you in each week.... all the same cute age, all doing the same cutethings, and so impossibly sweet.... kinda of like a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.

But back to our boys of whom there are only two, not twins and just close enough in age that it's starting to get confusing for passers-by. Even more-so when they are similarly dressed, which is a habit from which I normally abstain, I will have to admit that sometimes it is beyond my powers to resist the lure of matching togs.

And this is why the other night, after I got them both into their jammies and their blue knit Joe cardigans (we LOVE Joe), and tucked them snuggly into their stroller for our nighttime family stroll, Gavan, silently taking in the augmented adorableness of our sons, turned to me finally and said,

"What... are you trying to kill me?"

Yes indeed. Killed by cuteness... it may be possible.

Killed by brownies? Much more likely.

Expressions of an 8 month old

Kashton is still toothless. Totally absent of a single pearly white.

But I know these days of gummy smiles are surely coming to an end. Both of my other children were around 10 months when the landscapes of their sweet little mouths changed forever... my guess is that it will be the same for Kashton.

In the meantime, here are some of the many faces he can make that I enjoy so much, with not a chomper in sight!

Do you Lovett?

Um does anyone else see a resemblance? 

Time travel

then

now

Life is going by too fast.   I was warned by many who had trod this path before, that the early years of life with 2 children born so close together would pass by in a blur.  I think these words were meant to comfort, but instead I took them as a warning.  

Today I was reminded of them, and of my resolute determination to 

enjoy. every. minute. 

Kashie is 6 months old today.  That seems impossible, and thinking back to those beginning days, I sadly concede that much of the time between then and now has indeed gone by much too fast.  I have been guilty of wasting precious opportunities to revel in the fleeting stages of babyhood, and of wishing away the present moment in hopes of easier, brighter days ahead.   Exactly what I didn't want to do.  

I stay home with my children, largely because I am extremely jealous and possessive of their childhood.  I want to be the one who gets to soak up every minute of their growing up, instead of hearing about it from a caregiver and missing moments, tender, sweet, exhausting, hilarious, trying, or whatever they may be. 

But just because I am here at home, does not guarantee I am HERE with them, NOW. 

And that would be a tragic shame if I missed IT even whilst being bodily present. 

This is not where I originally meant to go with this post, but perhaps I am a wee bit melancholy that I will never be the mother to a newborn ever again.  All of those amazing and wondrous "firsts" that happen in the first few months will be mine to experience in memory only.  

So we will move forward, like everyone must... facing the future in anticipation of all that lies ahead and remembering the past fondly and somewhat wistfully.  

And as the baby of our family grows oh-so-quickly,  a small part of me will hope that the next six months go a little slower, even if I know they won't. 

Kashton Shepherd Brown

09.29.2008
6lbs 8.25oz
20.5 inches

Monkey #2 has arrived. I have produced offspring for a third, (and hopefully) final time. You know what they say... the third time's a charm and labour was a mere 5 hours.... lucky me! Short-lived misery did not detract from the miraculousness of it all in any way, something I wish someone had mentioned the first two go-rounds.

A good part of Kashton's birth eerily mimicked Malachi's, and so I have spared you all the down and dirty details here, but they have all been recorded for posterity's sake, and so if you're nosy and want the full story, just let me know and I'll email you the long version.

As for new son....we love him so much already. Although perhaps "regard fondly" would more aptly describe the sentiments expressed thus far by big brother Malachi and our dethroned dog-children, Gromit and Pixie.